Moron Jokes The little moron was nailing shingles on the house. Somebody noticed that he was throwing about half the nails away, and asked him why.
"Because," said the little moron, "the heads are on the wrong ends."
"Well, you dope," said the other, "those are for the other side of the house."

The little moron got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?: says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"your're sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

Two little morons went hunting. The first one shot at a duck, and when it fell at his feet he felt bad that the little duck had died when he shot it.
The other said, "Oh, don't feel so bad. The fall would have killed it anyway."

Little moron took two slices of bread and went down and sat on the street corner waiting for the traffic jam. A big truck came along and gave him a jam.

Then there was the little moron who broke his leg when he threw his cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step on it.

Little moron was painting the house when another one came up and said, "Got a good hold on that brush?"
"Yep."
"Well, if you are sure you got a good hold on that bruch I'll borrow your ladder for a second."
"O.K. but don't keep it long. The handle of this paint brush is kind of slippery."

Little moron's wife sent him down town after a bucket of ice. He came back with a pail of water. "I got this for half price because it was melted."

Little moron took two slices of bread and went down and sate on the street corner waiting for the traffic jam. A big truck came along and gave him a jam.

Why did the little moron go to the lumber yard?
--To look for his draft board.

Then there was the little moron who took his nose apart to see what made it run.

Little moron tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."

Two little morons were in jail. They were trying to find a way out.
"I know. I'll shine the flash light up to that window, you crawl up the beam and open that window."
The other little moron objected. "Nothing doning. I'd get halfway up the beam and you'd turn the light off."

Do you know why the little moron took some hay to bed with him?
Because he wanted to feed his nightmare.

Can you tell me why the little moron took his clock to bed with him?
Because it was fast.

What did the little moron do when he was told he was dying?
He moved into the living room.

Back to Homepage Go to my other page
< a href="mailto: udas@soothing.com"> Mail me

This page is hosted byGet your own Free Homepage